Princess River with Two Forks

First Native American woman poised to become U.S. Senator. This news is just in. With a distinguished record as academic and consumer advocate, as well as being the president’s confidant and a liberal stalwart, this person has also achieved the impossible: Despite a background among the well-healed, well-educated and well-spoken, this white woman has made the transition to being a Native American. Still to be determined are her tribal status and share of reparations, gambling proceeds, and Native American name. Liberal, democrat pundits have no problem with application of Native American status to this individual because she did what she had to for the greater good. Conservative, republican pundits are struggling with how to refer to her now that her Native American status has been revealed (She did not want her status to be corruptly used to insure her election in this state that routinely supports affirmative action and massive government – preferring the honorable approach of being elected on her merits – and is currently considering legal action against the person who revealed her status). Most republicans favor referring to her by a name forwarded by an anonymous blogger who writes on Native American issues: Princess River with Two Forks.