Bad days better day

11-13 August 2010 -- After arriving at Rick and Dad’s I have visited my brother Herb in the nursing home. For the most part, these have not been edifying visits. The first day I saw him he did neither ate any of the special food treats that I brought him – and that he liked so much in May when I last saw him—nor talked other than to say yes or no nor even smile when I teased him about those things that had previously cracked him up. All in all he seemed very beat down. The first day visit ended when he vomited and was cold and clammy. When I called the attendants they took charge, took him off, and prepared and put him tor bed. Lying in bed he looked ashen and very tired, so I said good night. The second day I visited with him after he had finished dialysis and had had a nap. He was feeling and acting a bit better but still was neither saying much nor making an effort to do so. His unwillingness to try to talk evoked feelings of despair and helplessness – as during my May visit I had spent a great deal of time in conversation with him (you should know that his stroke affected his language capacity significantly), even though I had to do some of the shaping and guiding of what he said. Today was better. He independently spoke a few sentences. Today he also had a visitor, Suzanne, from his church and we have all reached the conclusion that it is better to have one-on-one time with him than overwhelm him with a group of people. So I told him again about the Tour, and that Dad would be back in five to six weeks, then said good bye. The rest of the day was spent driving to the Tour starting point, which is within 250 miles of where we are spending the night. It rained much of the afternoon on the drive to this point. Already I have to start thinking about what the rule will be if it is raining on a cycling day – one thing is for sure, I won’t be riding on a bicycle in the kind of rain I saw today. As I was riding around Tempe I only thought about flat roads and sunny days. Hills I will tackle, but rain is uncomfortable and dangerous in more ways than one.

Thought for the day: Make sure always that you have already said the most important things you have to say to your family…you never know.